Box Full Of Sharpe Objects
by Lady Roulette
Summary: Just a bunch of random thoughts from SnapeContains suicide and some swearing. So read it if you wanna but remember you've been warned


_**Disclaimer- I own nothing, I swears, J.K.R owns em. Looks like no money for me **_

_**It's our time to shine through the down  
glorified by what is ours  
We've fallen in love  
We've fallen in love  
It was the best idea I ever had**_

Severus Snape sat at his desk drinking his sorrow away. Years of torture, years of pain finally scaring his mind. But he shouldn't be feeling this now, no not at all; he should be celebrating with the rest of the wizarding community.

Not merely several hours ago the great and powerful Dark Lord, Lord Voldemort had finally fall, it was an emotional siege, losing many from both sides. He fell by no other from the wand of the one and only "'_Boy-Who-Lived' my arse more like the 'Boy-Who-Is-So-Damn-Full-Of-Himself'!" _he thoughtbitterly.

But still Severus Snape couldn't help but feel a little proud to this boy, he held courage and stayed his ground, when others would have fled. But then there was this other thought that stuck him, he was also very foolish _"Another attention seeking Gryffindor, just like his father if you ask me"_

Severus took another swig from his bottle of Fire Whiskey hoping to drive the emptiness he feels from his mind. _"What good am I now? I have no use to anyone, just a sour old Potions Master…but even now that title means so little to me. I don't let anyone close because I'm afraid but what is there to be afraid of?" _He took yet another violent swig of Fire Whiskey, hoping he could pass out from it but unfortunately for Servus no such luck.

_**Today I fell and felt better  
Just knowing this matters  
I just feel stronger and SHARPER!  
Found a box of sharp objects  
What a beautiful...  
Today I fell and felt better  
Just knowing this matters  
I just feel stronger and SHARPER!  
Found a box of sharp objects  
What a beautiful THING!**_

Severus sat there for hours losing the track of time. He was drunk, he was on his second bottle of Fire Whisky and too his dismay hadn't passed out.

He didn't know what possessed him to do what he did next. He opened the top left draw from his desk and retrieved a green box. He placed it gently on his desk and closed the draw. When he opened the box he took out the silver letter opener, the handle in the shape of a snake curled up with its long, sly tongue out glaring at him viciously. He gripped the handle tightly in his right hand and pulled back the sleeve of his left arm, revealing the hideous Dark Mark that has long been placed there.

With the letter opener still in his hand, he brought it up shaking slightly as he placed it on the skin of his arm and scratched the skin, he didn't understand why he was doing it, all he knew was it was what had to be done. He dug deeper and deeper into the skin letting the blood rush down his arm like a wild river reaching his finger tips and dripping onto the dungeon stone floors like a waterfall.

And with each gash he dug further hoping by all odd this burden would be forgotten once and for all, his mind drifter for a second, back to all the people he tortured, he killed and he raped. Oh how he wished he could take it all back. And how he hoped by all means he could redeem himself. _"But then I'll be the foolish one"_ he thought solemnly to himself.

_**Today I fell and felt better  
Just knowing this matters  
I just feel stronger and SHARPER!  
Found a box of sharp objects  
What a beautiful THING!  
**_

Severus gashed his arm violently no longer caring if it bleeds. He carved words into his arm _'why' over and over again_, unknown to himself, just as to why he did it?

For once in the Potions Master's life, he couldn't find an answer to all his questions. He was lost, confused and all alone.

_**  
SICK!**_

Severus felt sick, deep in the pit of his stomach.

He started coughing. Chocking as he dried reached. Trying to throw up, but nothing came. Most probably from drinking two bottles of Fire Whiskey, or was it from the fact of his haunted dreams, replaying over the unfortunate events in his life?**_  
_**

_**  
Do you want a song of glory?  
WELL I'M FUCKING SCREAMING AT YOU!**_

He didn't know what the hell was happening, on the outside he was calm with his mask shielding, and inside his mind was screaming, wanting to yell at someone, just to rid him of his thoughts. All these different feelings that were long hidden deep inside, he just couldn't handle it, couldn't take it. What to do, when there is nothing left to do?

_**It's our time to shine through the down  
glorified by what is ours  
We've fallen in love  
We've fallen in love  
It was the best idea I ever had!  
**_

Cutting himself repeatedly was the only thing that helped subdue the pain he felt inside, the pain he hid so well from the world, covered but his icy mask, which he only used to shield others from the feeling of pain that he can inflict on them not wanting them to end up like him.

_**  
Today I fell and felt better  
Just knowing this matters  
I just feel stronger and SHARPER!  
Found a box of sharp objects  
What a beautiful...  
Today I fell and felt better  
Just knowing this matters  
I just feel stronger and SHARPER!  
Found a box of sharp objects  
What a beautiful thing...  
Found a box of sharp objects what a beautiful  
...box of sharp objects what a beautiful THING!**_

Severus sat back in his chair, the letter opener barely staying in his hand as his arm dangled lifelessly of the side of the arm rest. He brought the letter opener up once more and slashed his wrist, this time sadly, he meant death.

And in the seconds it took for the rest of his blood to run out he whispered "I'm sorry", not to anyone in particular and with those two simple words spoken the letter opener dropped to the floor that echoed throughout the deserted dungeons.

**The Used**-_Box Full Of Sharpe Objects_

A/N I'm sorry if you don't like it but I was feeling in a mood to try something a little different and I understand many people may not like it but I wanted to see how it would turn out and I know it's got blood and guts (well mostly blood) in it but I like horror stuff, and blood and guts is classed in horror for me. Well please read and review, I would like to hear your own thoughts on this fic.

Oh, and I kinda know that the song in some places doesn't really fit but it was the only song I could think of to do with this. But yeah tell me what ya think coz I would love to hear.

Lady Roulette


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